The benefits this series described are real. So is the disappointment of those who chased them and were burnt. Both can be true, because these benefits are not properties of BDSM. They are products of a structure taken seriously, and without it the same acts that refine will instead corrode.
Crossing a boundary and violating one are not the same act. Crossing happens inside a frame that is genuinely trying to find its edges. Violation happens when care was absent, when the limit was known and disregarded, or when the Dominus's response to having crossed it reveals entitlement rather than error. The difference is not always visible in the moment. It is visible in what surrounds it.
Spotting a warning sign is only half the skill. The other half is telling the difference between someone who is wrong for this and someone still learning it. The answer lies not in the fault itself but in its direction of travel, and in whether humility and honesty are present to correct it.